In the name of Allah Most Gracious and Most Merciful
Translation of Khutba : Masjid Otsuka: Friday, July 6 2018
All praise is due to Allah the Giver of Blessings. He creates the two mates-the male and female, and places between them affection and mercy. I thank Him as is befitting to His Sovereign Status and Majesty and I bear witness that there is no deity worthy of worship, except for Him alone without any partners or peers. I also bear witness that Muhammad (SAW) is the Messenger of Allah and His Servant.
O Servants of Allah! I urge you and myself to be mindful of Allah the Almighty and obey Him in light of what He says in the Qur’an in Surah Annisaa:
“O mankind, fear your Lord, who created you from one soul and created from it its mate and dispersed from both of them many men and women. And fear Allah , through whom you ask one another, and the wombs. Indeed Allah is ever, over you, an Observer.” (S.4 V.1)
Dear Muslims! Allah the Sublime has invited us to look into His signs, which reflect His Greatness and perfect Might. One of these is the mutual affection and mercy as in the marriage relationship. Allah the Almighty says in the Qur’an in Surah Arrum:
“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.” (S.30 V.21)
Affection has been explained by interpreters as love, while mercy as feelings of sympathy and kindness. It is said that a man relates to a woman either out of love or sympathy. Either way, this requires compassion as Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Annisaa:
“…and live with them in kindness.…” (S.4 V.19)
The latter is a key to living in agreement. For this feeling to grow, the husband must be lenient in speech and act. Therefore, neither should he frown at her wife without a reason; nor should he be rude. Rather he should be compassionate and considerate.
Dear Muslims! The prophet Muhammad SAW said, “The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives.” He SAW was kind to them, cheerful, affectionate, and generous. He SAW would enter his house after Isha prayer, chat with his family, keeping them company for some time before he would go to sleep. This is said, the wife, for her part, should seek helping her husband be happy and virtuous. Thus if he looks at her, he is pleased; if he commands her she obeys him. And when he is away from her, she is sincere towards him with regard to herself and with his wealth. She should also share with him his hope and distress and care after his children. The prophet SAW said, “When a woman prays her five prayers, fasts her month, guards her chastity and obeys her husband – then it will be said to her: enter Paradise from whichever gate you wish.”
Dear Servants of Allah! However, it may happen that marriage goes through difficult times, still separation and divorce should not be the choice. The married couple should under no circumstance rush to it; instead, they need to try different ways for reaching consensus. They can, for example look at the bright side of their relationship and overlook mistakes and other shortcomings. Before deciding any further into divorce, the husband must stop and think of the positive qualities of her wife, as Allah the Almighty says in the Qur’an in Surah Annisaa:,
“…If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good.” (S.4 V.19)
And if she ever thinks of divorce, she is advised to reflect on the Hadith saying: “If any woman asks her husband for divorce without some strong reason, the odour of Paradise will be forbidden to her.”
Dear Believers, for ensuring the family stability and preventing consequences of divorce, Islam suggests a number of solutions, including counsel and dialogue to overcome differences and achieve reconciliation. Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Annisaa:
“…and making peace is better.…” (S.4 V.128)
Peaceful settlement of disagreement is the best option and of course is better than divorce and its consequential disruption of the family. As such, only when all reconciliation attempts come to no avail, should divorce be considered. Moreover this should only be a revocable one. During Idda (the prescribed period), the estranged couple can try to live separately in the same house. Usually during this time, they may get over their anger and separation may be revoked as a result. Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Attalaq in this regard:
“…You (the one who divorces his wife) know not, it may be that Allah will afterward bring some new thing to pass (i.e. to return her back to you if that was the first or second divorce).” (S.65 V.1)
Divorce should only come as a last resort when marriage is impossible to continue. Yet this decision should not be taken in rush or in a spite of anger, and thus is a reminder for the so many who look forward to splitting up as their first and only choice. In so doing they risk disrupting the stability of their household and dislocating their children for trivial reasons. Our Guide Muhammad (SAW) denounced such an unacceptable behaviour when addressing someone who exceeded limits in divorce. He (SAW) said, “What is wrong with anyone of you who undermines the limits of Allah by saying: ‘I have divorced and revoked’.” So anyone of you who is driven by anger, please do not rush to divorce. Mention to your wife her weakness [in the sense that she needs you], and at the same time praises her good deeds that will help sustain affection and a happy life between you. On this matter, the Prophet SAW advised us saying, “Fear Allah regarding women for you have got them under Allah’s security and have the right to intercourse with them by Allah’s word.”
O Servants of Allah, I urge you and myself to be mindful of Allah the Almighty and know that of allthings allowed by Allah there is nothing as disliked as divorce, hence it was described by the Prophet SAW as: “Of all the lawful acts the most detestable to Allah is divorce.” Husbands should therefore be cautious in using words that may hint at divorce or threatening their wives with in unimportant contexts or saying them jokingly. Islam takes the word divorce seriously and rejects being a subject of humour. The Messenger of Allah SAW said in this regard, “There are three things which, whether undertaken seriously or in jest, are treated as serious: marriage, divorce and taking back a wife (after a divorce which is not final).”
May the peace and the blessings of Allah be upon prophet Muhammad SAW, his family and all of his Companions. May Allah be pleased with the Rightly Guided Caliphs: Abu Bakr, Umar, Uthman and Ali, and all those who will follow them in righteousness until the Day of Judgment.
O Allah! Accept our prayers and all our ibada.
O Allah! Guide us to the right path and make us of those on whom You bestows Your mercy.
O Allah! Accept all of our good deeds and forgive us for our sins.
O Allah! Please Bless us for our Dawah work here in Japan.
O Allah! Give shifa to all those who are sick.
O Allah! Grant safety and security to everyone here in Japan as well as all over the world. Aamin ya Rabbil Aalamin.